Accepting God's Love

My soul is a handmade basket
I  will examine its roughness with love today,
Wonder at its intricacy, accept the mystery in its construction.
I will put down my frustration and let you love me,
I will feel your quiet insistence between the reeds
Of my artful imperfection.

Repetitive Living

The snow stops falling.
Birds appear from nowhere.
The dog wants out.
I reach for my shoes.
The laces are knotted.
The dog is waiting.
I pull on my jacket.
I open the door.
The dog goes out.
The dog pees.
The dog comes in.
Nothing requires thought.
My life is without thought,
I can live without thought.

Night Vision

I entered the garden,
Late evening,
Through a vine covered arbor,
Expecting to see tomorrow's expectations
Blooming on yesterday's experience
Where they belong.
I knew where I was headed,
I was confident and sure,
Almost insistent.
Rows were straight
Fences were well mended.

I wanted to believe a pumpkin seed
Always bears a pumpkin flower.
I went on innocently believing,
Insisting, until the storm,
Believing I was a pumpkin seed.

The destruction was complete,
Now the trellis glows
Over broken stalks,
The moon flower radiates
Bluish light over withering truth.
New and unexpected fears
Present their scarlet heads for tending,
Yesterday's knowledge is
Of little help.
The richness of my garden
Is breathtaking and
Tangible, the aroma
Of rotting fruit and earth
And uncertain renewal
Goes to my head.

All I have hope of knowing
Is the ground I am standing on.
I find myself mouthing,
Somewhat against my will,
Yes, God, yes that is enough,
I will study the ground.

Lessons About Money

Money plays games.
It will buy you a candy bar
Or a Yacht
For the candy bar, it wants a smile,
For the Yacht
It wants your ever living soul,
And it'll probably get you drunk besides.
Stick with the candy.

Chasing Dignity

Desire begs me to dance and I make excuses.
I am not young and beautiful.

I am an old woman, older than the vine, older than memory,
Older than the many paths I have taken. 

But the rose does not just climb, it twines sideways and upwards,
Commanding space.

I remind myself, age can be striking and beautiful
And it is not selfish to want to dance.

Climbing

Your voice begs my soul to climb,
Challenges me and draws me to my core,
Helps me feel the soil under my feet,
Helps me find meaning in the vast landscape.

Sometimes, on a dark enough night,
Even scraps of love are plenty,
Can pull me through until morning,
Can wear away my edges.
Can stop the pain.

When I've lost my way,
You paint my soul with normalcy,
Clean anxiety from my face,
Put me in a church dress.

I set my sights on happiness
I can sleep.  And I do smile.
I do smile.

A Letter to Truth

I am not ready for spring
I want to curl up in your winter
I want to stay until the thaw
Until the water, now sliding
Ever so gently under the ice
Reaches the surface
And dares to sparkle.

But in summer,
Oh beautiful summer
We will both go barefoot.